Poetic Inclinations: Some works from my 2019 collection

Infidelity

Sometimes the sadness inside disregards my moral pride.
Swelling, like hot air balloon preparing for its maiden voyage.
Traveling through an ambiguously painful memory lane.
Did she love me the last time I held her in arms? Or was it all in vain?
Falling through an open sky of self hatred and disdain.
Heart racing, body shaking, it’s been so long, why am I still in pain? Remembering one, remembering them all, sometimes I loathe my brain.
Crashing into reflections of old lovers and the broken memories that tore us apart.
Brown eyes, hazel, and green ones too. There were a couple who had different hues of ocean blue.
I loved one, I loved them all – but I hated myself and that led to our fall.
So many chances squandered by petty romances with unavailable women who clung to my heart like a cancer.
I was unfaithful.
Emotionally incapable of saying no to attention.
My actions so hurtful and like venom their words became spiteful.
I remained insecure and prideful, not willing to acknowledge when it was my fault.
Days when I fall through the sky, when my reflection doesn’t feel like it’s changed.
I remember the trauma- I remember the ways that the women who loved me begged me to stay.