No words can explain the pain that creeped slowly through my veins and into my heart.
The way that I described it you’d think that I was talking about my addiction to the needle and cocaine.
Not this time-
The moment replaying in my brain spreading the poison with the potential of driving me insane-
Was the way you chose to walk away from me.
You showed me the value of your word and the sweet nothings exchanged
I remember the mornings waking up next to you in my bed.
Your brown eyes with a happy hint of red.
It’s the way that you looked at me every time you kissed me that will for the longest haunt my head.
I wish I could disdain you to facilitate the fact I have to walk away.
It’s impossible to hate the woman who let her love shine through me and silenced so many of the self deprecating demons in my head.
I’ve known you for decade but I’ve loved you so many times before I realized the first night we spent together- the night we fell in love and I realized my soul was fated for yours
I’ve started this poem so many times and so many times I had to scrap it… I’m not ready to face the truth that we’ve prematurely stumbled on our last days.
I’ve spent so many hours in a disassociated haze…
We’re terrified to lose each other and I’m terrified of the unknown.
if we try to force it we’ll taint the magic that flowed in your direction the day you decided to confess your affections.
I’ll miss the way your hair falls all around me and feeling the softness of your face.
I’ll miss the way we could say so much with a glance.
I’ll miss all the candid pictures and making love to you while you my hold hands.
I’ll miss all the ways you loved me and the dreams we dreamt together.
You know the ones where we overcame all the things that prevented us from getting better.
You are my haven- the place I love to rest.
You are the one who also challenges me to be my best.
I really hope the universe aligns again for us – I really hope we separate and each complete our personal quests.
So that when we come together- we don’t have to fight for us or hide.
We can reunite and cultivate our love in the sun light.
Day by Day 