Working out and working Sh*t out: exploring the parallels between spiritual growth and physical fitness.

I was reflecting on the last couple of weeks, thoughtfully examining my daily routine, thinking about the ways I feel different, the growth that has already occurred, the growth in progress. I’ve felt really blocked creatively the past couple of days- but this is how I process and heal most effectively. So here I sit in front of my lap top- just punching the damn keys. I punch every letter with intent, I punch a letter for every tear that I feel like crying but wont spill over. I punch more letters for the anger and grief that I’m coping with. I punch these letters because I’m trying to stay alive. I punch these letters because my voice is gone at the moment. I am grasping at my tools and using them knowing that with time and perseverance I will see the sun again. Knowing that just like the pain I feel when I hit a hard workout- I am breaking down like my muscles do- just to regenerate stronger than before. I am currently doing a spiritual HIIT session and it’s exhausting and lonely.

Spiritual HIIT? yes.. you read that right.

I say that because of the way the pain seems to present itself. If you don’t know what HIIT is, it’s a type of exercise in which you exert maximum effort for short spurts and then rest for a certain amount of time. For example: HIIT would be jump roping at full effort for 30 seconds and then resting for 30 seconds- 1 minute repeating that for a few cycles.
This is an accurate representation for how I’ve been experiencing my sadness, anger, disillusionment, disappointment, heartbreak- so on and so forth. I’m good most of the day- silent but generally content. Then at certain points of the day I’ll be hit with an almost overwhelming wave of a mix of those emotions or one of those at time. The wave will come in and almost paralyze me- wrecking me during the time it chooses to come. The later on in the day it is, the more aggressively and frequently the wave comes in. The wave will last anywhere from 20 mins to an hour and then I can continue on with my day or night.
I was talking to my sponsor about it yesterday because a wave came in while we were in the car on our way home from our meeting last night. In talking to her I realized that it might definitely be related to that winding down of activities and distractions- but also the fact that my ADHD medication wears off around 6 or 7 pm. Giving my brain the room to wander in any direction it wants and my brain loves to circulate around the pain I feel having separated from her.
I find that I’m not so immobilized that I can’t use my tools during these moments, which is the reason I’m okay right now. Having and using my spiritual toolbox, having a higher power and relationship with it, and my God box is particularly full this month.

Spiritually fit under all conditions

Some of the best parts about being on a fitness journey and a spiritual growth journey are the parallels that I can draw interchangeably between the work it takes to succeed in both. Spiritual fitness under all conditions- that’s a mouthful right? When I first heard that I was unfamiliar with what that meant. I had a concept as to what that meant – which involved a lot of marijuana. Things change though, my spirituality is changing and growing every single day, today spiritual fitness means sitting with my feelings and being able to accept them as they come, when they come. It means not being judgmental of where I happen to be at any given moment. Accepting my process whatever that looks like on any given day. It means thinking of others and getting outside of myself. It means not dwelling on self pity or other egotistical behaviors like that. It means praying and praying and some days praying again. It means honoring my needs and not giving too much of myself. It means acceptance of others and their process- looking at every body as if they are also sick and need patience and kindness. On the very same token- it means setting boundaries with people that are over stepping, being careless, emotionally irresponsible, or manipulative. This is my concept of spiritual fitness- that does not mean that I nail every one of these all the time, it’s the template that I aim for.
Just like my exercise routines- I have templates that I follow, sometimes I can stay on target because I have the strength and conditioning to do so- other times I need to work on it. By doing the work in either area I become stronger, sometimes I’m sore because of it but in the end when the soreness is over- I have shed some weight and grown stronger.

Post work out recovery and self care

The last parallel I want to explore is the need to recover and rest. The need to self care. After a tough workout session or any workout session, I usually follow it up with a protein shake or protein bar. I prefer to do that shake if I have time because I can replenish my carbs and get a good amount of protein to help in muscle recovery, muscles can’t grow if they are not fed. The same goes for times of “spiritual workouts” (times of strife) I feed myself with prayer and meditation, inspirational podcasts, literature, writing. Anything that will help my soul recover from that breaking down that it just endured.
Another important part of recovery for both is sleep and rest. Sleep is an integral part of healing physically and emotionally. Our brain processes so much information while we sleep and our bodies are just as busy repairing the broken down muscle tissue and helping it grow bigger and stronger. That is one of those things that I didn’t actually believe made a notable impact on weight loss and fitness results. I have actually found that one the days that I don’t get 7-8 hrs of sleep when I step on the scale my numbers are actually inflated because of it. I have always known the effects of lack of sleep on the spirit, because I’ve been rehab so many times that H.A.L.T (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) is permanently engraved in my brain.
The last thing that makes a huge difference in my post workout recovery is staying hydrated. Actually I stay hydrated all day not just post workout to be clear. It makes a huge impact on the amount of soreness I feel after a particularly challenging work out, the less hydrated I am the more sore I feel. It makes a huge difference on the scale too, I find that when I drink the amount of water I need- which I am for over 100 oz but closer to half my body weight in oz. my number are lower. When I don’t it causes an inflation in my stats. Mentally and spiritually- I find that when I’ve been dehydrated in the past I would struggle to be able to cope and work through things. I felt hazy or foggy. I would be prone to inappropriate expressions of anger. I actually use water as a tool when I have overwhelming feelings of anger or rage, I chug 16 oz of water and take a deep breath if I’m still feeling full of rage or angry I drink another glass and take another deep breath. I find that after the first glass it usually goes away but if not it definitely does by the second.

On writing this:

When I sat down- as I stated in my first paragraph I was feeling very hard. I can say that after writing this, I feel better. I feel a sense of clarity and relief. I feel like I have reminded myself of the mechanics of the process for both my fitness and spiritual journey. I am grateful for that and the serenity I feel in this moment.