My brief hiatus explained

What happens to a writer when they stop writing?

Does anybody know the answer to this beside writers?

Personally- over time it becomes increasingly difficult for me to sit in front of a lap top, write in my notebook, write anything down anywhere for a creative or therapeutic purpose. I literally get so overwhelmed with words that they almost function as a lock or more appropriately a zip tie that prevents me from being able to write down the things I want to say.

I become judgmental of my words and the things I have to say or write down. I start to diminish that value of my story. I feel like things all start sounding the same. Hyper vigilant… avoiding sounding angsty or on the other extreme grandiose. Like literally these are the things that keep me from writing or start a cycle of no writing for me. I have writers block because I’m being so hard on myself that I don’t write anything at all.

I chose to do differently today because I missed having this outlet. I missed writing down my feelings and sharing them… whether or not they are actually read- the thought that maybe someone could read my thoughts or feelings and say “Hey- I’ve been there!” Or “This is exactly how I feel sometimes!” For someone to actually identify with my experience and gain hope from it would be the greatest gift.

So I’m here to say- I’m alive, I’m still sober, I took a brief hiatus from my blog because my brain likes to be my toughest critic, but I’m writing today… and I didn’t hate it. I truly hope that everyone is staying sane in the madness… I have been struggling some days and thriving other days but that’s the nature of my life since I got sober…

Some days are better than others- but I’m learning how to feel them all.